80

Sitting here, thinking about things...
Sometimes the sun and the moon share the sky: why.
When we are born we breathe our first breath and then we start to die: why.
Our memories sometimes don't store the things we want: why.
We dream at night but then don't remember: why.

Walking here, thinking about stuff...
Why do people look at us strangely when we simply smile: strange.
Why is it fashion has become such a big issue: strange.
Why do we need so many different religions: strange.
Why can't war end and everyone agree for once: strange.

Laying here, thinking about problems...
When did man start complaining about the times of day: perculiar.
What is the deal over the education we have with parents: perculiar.
When did people start calling a shadow a shadow, and a tree a tree: perculiar.
Why can't the sky be green and grass purple and cars made of plastic: perculiar.

Sleeping here, thinking about... nothing...

79

Life is my fine, gift to you
From me take, draining each part of me
It's my soul that you seek.

My unfinished business forces your unhappy ending.
Each demise my trials
No one hears you crying now

Your powers trip all who fall
In your drip, leaving death in your wake
Now it's God you forsake

Though you see right through my lies
Theres no escape so dry your eyes
Even with God on your side, you'll never find a place to hide!

Fallen angel, hear me calling!
Fallen angel, slowly dieing!
Take me away, make me safe.
There's no way! Send down the angels!

- The Incubus Soundtrack - Send Down The Angels by Shayne Leighton & Alexandra Santanna

78

All the world will be your enemy,
Prince with a Thousand Enemies.
And whenever they catch you, they will kill you.
But first, they must catch you: digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning.
Be cunning and full of tricks, and your people will never be destroyed.

Extract from Watership Down.

77

My sanctuary is violently attacked
as the night wails on and
the anger in the skies
fight in a battle of forces.

My book sounds a crash
as I drop it in a haste
to sheild myself from the mighty
Reign of the Elements.

Concentration is lost to something
magnificent but insane as
the blood of the Gods
cascade against my window.

Like an unlucky antelope, kiled by a lion
my heart is shredded as a
flash of beautiful danger
kisses the ground.

As darkness approaches me
ever closer, I know I am not safe.
These walls may be shatterproof,
but I am not.

The red window pane is illuminated
by a second wave of lightning
sent bursting from a furious
ocean in the heavens.

I wonder how any mother
could inflict this torment
on her children. Almightly nature
has turned on us.

The door rattles noisily as
the vicious wind attempts to
burst in and envelop me,
wrenching my soul from my grasp.

Mutts howl and beg to the moon,
desperate for this destructive
power to weaken its grip on
their tiny nation.

Our trivial lives flash before
us as the terror beams of
blinding light snatch from us
our precious shadows.

I wish to pace the room nervously,
but the fatal fear nestled inside me
roots me to my chair, I am grounded
like an old man.

Managing to peek out of the trembling
window, I see nothing but inky clouds,
poisoning the atmosphere and ready
to leap down on us.

Alone in my fortress, I wait for
this nightmare to end.
The world spins on, battered and bruised
and left to fend for itself.


Once the storm has subsided, the
damage may be observed. Until then
I listen for a calm, peaceful and
gentle breath of guilt from the Universe.

76

Marina and the Diamonds - Oh No.

Don't do love,
don't do friends.
I'm only after success,
Don't need a relationship,
I'll never soften my grip.
Don't want cash, don't want car,
Want it fast, want it hard.
Don't need money, don't need fame,
I just want to make a change.
I just wanna change
I just wanna change
I just wanna change
I just wanna change
I just wanna change

I know exactly what I want and who I want to be.
I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine.
I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy.
Oh, oh no, oh no, oh no

One track mind, one track heart.
If I fail, I'll fall apart.
Maybe it is all a test.
Cause I feel like I'm the worst,
So I always act like I'm the best.
If you are not very careful,
Your possessions will possess you.
TV taught me how to feel,
Now real life has no appeal.
It has no appeal
It has no appeal
It has no appeal
It has no appeal
It has no appeal

I know exactly what I want and who I want to be,
I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine.
I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy,
Oh, oh no, oh no, oh no

I'm gonna live, I'm gonna fly,
I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna die,
I'm gonna live, I'm gonna fly
I'm gonna fail, gonna die, die, die, die

I know exactly what I want and who I want to be,
I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine.
I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy,
Oh, oh no, oh no, oh no

75

Don't go outside,
because you never know...
Don't wear those clothes tonight,
because you never know...
Don't go through life with your eyes wide shut.

Every day is a lie
Everyone will moan
Everything is for show
and everybody's so cold.

Better hold on tight,
because you never know...
Don't sober up tonight
because you never know...
Don't kick and scream for just yourself.

Every time its a fight
Every item is lost
Every beg is too quiet
Every friendship must cost.

74

Here comes the sting of pain again,
just open up and let it in.
Thats when the healing can begin.

And when you stay away from dreams,
your world is never what it seems.
The end is falling into reach.

73

I awaken in the dead of night,
protected by the jungle.
stepping cautiously along the ground
avoiding all things fungal.

I hear a swarm of bees approaching,
my wonderland is being haunted.
I turn to face my vicious enemies,
They are rapid and daunting.

I hold my breath and shut my eyes,
waiting for anger to pounce.
I turn to see a wonderous sight,
only fireflies having a flounce.

I play with the lights until I am blind,
laughter fills my lungs.
im lovingly hugged by many hands
and licked by many tongues.

So the rain does pour.
and I play some more
and the happiness kills my throat.
I dance and sing
to the jungle morning
and sleep when my tears runs cold.

72

Frozen and captivated, the angels wings brush gently on my skin, scarring their final goodbyes to my heart.
A silent kiss on the halo pure, as they ascend to the heavens, leaving but a small memory of their soft voices.
White are the stars they glide upon, silver is the moon of which they sing, black is the deep space of their final journey.
Bare and naked they swim in the darkness, their heavenly glow alight the sky, the aurora borealis a painted image of their flight.
Their finger tips point to the northern star, "May the child be born again!" they cry, their personal gateway to fate.
As I stand alone in the field of snow, rose petals, red and tainted, dance in the air for them, flying high to guide them gently.
I stand alone for you my dear angels, may my soul be forever your eyes, your voices, and your hearts.

71

Time to move on, so forgive me life.
Your ice cold fingers chill me to my core
I vanquished my deamons, don't be jealous.
You don't know what else I have instore.

Your lips leave marks against my skin, dear life.
You can't destroy what has already been broken
You watch as butterflies burn near my heart.
My last goodbye are their wings, my token.

You envy me dear life, my darling.
Don't cry your pitiful tears down on me
I haven't done anything except kissed the angels goodbye.
This is the end for us both, you'll see

Fate has taken us both to the end of the road.
Who will win, it is hard for us both to see
But you, Life you have envied me.
Now you will destroy me.

70

Marina & The Diamonds - Numb

One track mind, like a goldfish,
Stuck inside my petri dish.
I can't breathe, and I can't smile,
This better be worth my while.

I feel numb most of the time,
The more I get the higher,
I'll climb, and I will wonder why,
I got dark only,
To shine.
Looking for the golden light,
Oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice.

Far gone families, far gone friends,
That's how it started, and how it ends,
I can't open up and cry,
'cause i've been saddened all my life.

I feel numb most of the time,
The more I get the higher,
I'll climb, and I will wonder why,
I get dark only,
To shine.
Looking for the golden light,
Oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice.

Ooh, I get dark,
Ohh, and I'm in hell,
I need a friend,
Ooh, but I can't yell,
Yeah, i'm no good,
No good to anyone,
'Cause all I care about,
Is being number one.

Shine,
Looking for the golden light,
Oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice.
Shine,
Looking for the golden light,
Oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice. Sacrifice.
I feel numb most of the time,
The more I get the higher,
I'll climb, and I will wonder why,
I get dark only,
To shine and I'll light up the sky,
Stars that burn the brightest,
Fall so fast and pass you by,
Puff like empty lighters,

I feel numb most of the time,
The more I get the higher,
I'll climb, and I will wonder why,
I got dark only,
To shine and I'll light up the sky,
Stars that burn the brightest,
Fall so fast and pass you by,
Spark like empty lighters.

Dum da dum, duh dah da da.
Dum da dum, da dah ah ah
Dum da dum, duh dah da da.
Dun da dum, da dah ah ah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7367icMhuI

69

Whisper my darling, whisper.
Your loud words tremble too much,
Yet your whispers are gold, on my ears, they do touch.
Your breath on my skin leaves handprints where they clutch
So whisper, please only whisper.

Scream my darling, scream
Your words will carry your true feeling,
Yet your screams are diamonds, on the hills, with a hidden meaning.
Your voice on the breeze leaves waters momentarily healing
So scream, please only scream.

Calm my darling, calm
Your temper is steadily rising,
Yet your eyes look at the birds, in the sky, slowly gliding.
Your temper is like a thousand rocks, damaging, then hiding
So calm, please only calm.

Smile my darling, smile
Your face becomes so bright,
Yet your smile brings peace into the light.
Your smile gives the birds a reason to go back into flight
So smile, please only smile.

68

Some people dream of wishes,
some people dream of stars.
Some people dream of the whole world
slowly becoming ours.

Some people dream of happiness,
some people dream of love.
Some people dream that they'd find the words
that their hearts will be proud of.

Some people dream of each other,
some people dream really hard.
Some people dream that their dreams wont escape,
they mean too much to discard.

Some people dream whilst awake,
some people dream fast asleep.
Some people awake and remember their dreams,
and lie in their beds and weep.

Some people dream of forgiveness,
others dream of good results.
Some people dream that the dead
will suddenly regain a pulse.

Some people dream of a monster,
stalking them in their heads.
Some people quickly realise,
that they're safe and sound in their beds.

I don't dream of this world.
I don't dream about anyone else,
My dreams consist
of a delicate twist
and heaven and hell melts.

My dreams go on forever,
with no plot or plan or design,
I do not wake up
and I don't remember
that the dream was totally mine.

So next time you dream of your life getting better,
remember, its nothing but a dream.
Don't anger yourself,
don't cry.
Sleep.

67

With him below me, pulling my feet to the ground;
Yet with you above me, trying to pull me skybound;
Who shall I put my faith in?

66

And so here is July.

When the glistening sun reflects our pain and replaces it with warmth.
Where the trees listen not to tales of woe but only to joy and laughter.
When the children laugh and run and play without a care in the world!
Where the women dress daringly to show off what they've got to offer.
When the men play sports and work hard to prove their masculinity.

Not me.

All I want to do is write.
That doesn't make sense to you.

All I want to do is read.
I will not follow the crowd for you.

All I want to do is breathe.
Just stand back and let me breathe.

All I want to do is listen.
Your voice isn't music to my ears.

All I want to do is type.
The world will move on regardless.

All I want to do is run.
This town isn't ready for me now.

All I want to do is scream.
But I don't want you to hear me.

All I want to do is sleep.
Because I don't want to ruin your July.

65

Flood, flood, flood, flood....


FLOOD!!

Everywhere I go people are screaming
Nobody expected this
The heavens opened and poured deceased tears
Ending the sweet bliss
The rising water, never stopping

The days are finally ending
Weaker ones are lost and drowning
Their limbs are breaking

Flood, flood, flood, flood....


FLOOD!!

Eat away the sins!
Eat away the sins!
The walls are tumbling down!

Eat away the sins!
Eat away the sins!
Time to tear up this town!

Flood, flood, flood, flood....


FLOOD!!

Water rushing;
Drains gushing;
Trees falling;
Cars are stalling;
People screaming;
Losing feeling;
People screaming;
Screaming...
Screaming...
Screaming...


SCREAMING!!

And silence falls as the sun shines
People come out from hiding
The hellish nightmare has gone for now
So rest in peace...

Rest in peace.

64

Love... how should we describe it?

They say there is a fine line between love and hate
So how do we, me or you, know if it is really true love?

L ife gives us this feeling, to make us experiece anger and passion
O r help us see how quickly we humans pass through our emotions...
V ery confusing sometimes, we all know that, yet...
E verybody feels love at some point in their lives

L iving things arent the only thing which feels love
O nly we don't understand their kind of love
V irutally eveybody owns something they love greatly and
E ven they love us back, in their own subtle ways somehow

L ust is sometimes confused with love
O nly they never told us there is another fine line there
V irtually impossible to tell the difference between lust and love
E ven God didn't make that one simple

L ove is everything you want it to be
O bviously it is different for everyone, and it can sometimes be
V ery similar, which is probably why lovers connect so well
E verything falls into place when you're in love

LOVE is too complicated isn't it?
LOVE just can't be understood by our too tainted minds
LOVE opens our eyes when we feel it
LOVE is just..

Well...

Love is just Love

62

I feel the water slip between my fingers.
But it grasps me more than I will ever know.

63

I feel sick, sick to my core
Sick in every part of my being
As you tear her away
Away from home

I feel pain, pain to my heart
Pain in everything I touch
As you cover her black and blue
Black and blue on her bones

I cry, I cry to the heavens
Cry in the dark, the rain
As more months tick by
Tick by until you let me see her

I sleep, sleep and slumber
Sleep for another night
Where my dreams are with you gone
Gone, so I can claim her my own once more

I sit, sit and think
Sit all day in the sun
Staring down your house
House, if that is what you call it

And I plan my next move.

61

You should have known the price of evil
And it hurts to know you belong here
Yeah, no one to call, everybody to fear
Your tragic fate is looking so clear
It's your f*ck*ng nightmare!

Your pain is what we desire
Lost, hit the wall, watch you crawl
Such a replaceable liar
They took for granted your soul
And it's ours now to steal
As your nightmare comes to life!


- Avenged Sevenfold: Nightmare Lyrics

60

I am on fire.
I am a disease.
I'm indestructable.
I am free.

You cannot kill me.
I am my own downfall.
Do not approach me.
Or danger will call.

I stalk the moon.
I am nature.
The wind is in my command.
The night is afraid of me.

I am majestic.
I am in charge.
Love me.
Don't be alarmed.

Come home to me.
Call my phone.
Touch my skin.
Taste my soul.

I am on fire.
I am on fire.
I am on fire.

But I am free.

59

Light.

Brightens my soul when I see it.
Takes my breath away.
Warms me up, I sit.
All of my nerves sway.

Tingle in my fingers.
Shock up and down my spine.
Still that feeling lingers.
I want that light to be mine.

Wonder from the darkness.
I lie behind these eyes.
I know that it's not harmless.
But also I can't despise.

The memory brings back fear.
I don't want it to fade.
I'm not ready to say to it, dear.
We had some lovely days.

Shine on forever, don't be shy.
No! This isn't the cue.
I wont let you say goodbye.
The light must live on in you.

58

As one door closes;
Yes, I know;
a window opens.
But I can't fit through.
The door was good enough for me.

As this chapter ends.
There's plenty more ahead.
But I'm a stuck record.
I'm scared of the ending.
This chapter is good enough for me.

As the flight takes off.
I am grounded.
I won't go with you.
You can't take me with you.
This tarmac is good enough for me.

As the night draws near.
I run across the world.
Chasing sunlight.
Where is the day?
That was good enough for me.

Then as the moon spins,
and the world moves on.
I'm through a bigger window.
The next page is amazing.
The gentle touchdown lights me up.
The night is far better.
Is this enough for me?

Where will you all be?

God, I'll miss you all.

You're quite enough for me.

57

The words I scribble ferociously.
I burn the paper with my pen.
But the tingling words emerging,
still can't explain you.

The millions of billions of thoughts.
Dancing in my head, shredding my eyes.
This waste of space.
It's all about you.

Then the deafening sounds, the screaming.
Oh, how I long to scream again.
The rattling inside my cage.
It's your name. It's all for you.

These Fifty-Seven echoes.
Booming through the screen.
Vibrating into reality.
Are all for you my friend. You.

56

His eyes, I watch them
The blue in them light up my world
The patterns in his iris.. small and intricate designs
The way he looks at me with those eyes..
Makes me fall into him

His lips, I yearn for them
The way he talks with them, their swift and purposeful movement
When he smiles.. his mouth curves so delicately
It is a smile I will always remember
It makes me smile too

His voice, I hear only his
When he talks his voice rings to my ears
It makes me sink into my own little world
Where it is me and him together
It makes me feel in total bliss

He will never know any of this.
He doesn't know how much I care.
I will never tell him of course
We will always stay just how we are
Friends.

55

Well done everyone.
The days are drawing close to where we will all depart.
But look at the memories we have created!

Remember the days where you were first making friends
Deciding what groups to converse with
Choosing who to trust and who aren't so bright
Talking about childish things we still remember today..

Or how about the times where we made each other cry?
Laughing made us do it 99.9% of the time
That 0.1% we cried by ourselves and we comforted each other
But we all wiped each others tears away

Remember the talks we all had!
So many things and they never seem to stop
Just talking and even in silence the conversation stays
But they were always fun and enjoyable

Congratulations everyone
We are all handling our time well
We will all remember each other of course
Why forget each other now?

Time is drawing to an end now
We can still create memories until then
Who needs pictures or letters or emails
We have each other.

54

She sleeps.
Her dream world is awoken in her mind.
She see's all her worries spread out before her
They wash away. Simply wash away.
Down in the darkest part of her dream world
She is torn
Dangers are cast before her yet she must be strong.
Yet in reality she sheds one small tear
This tear is for the angels in her dream world
She see's a man in her dream world.
He comes towards her offering his hand
He tells her he can save her.
In reality this man walks in her room.
He comfort her here, tries calming her for a better sleep.
In her dream world he has a sword and strikes her dangers
They are dead now.
She wakes to see the man
And only in his embrace is she comforted
She realises everything will be ok now.

53

The smoke rises in whispy lines
Patterns making no sense

The flames burn with bright colours
Kissing and demolishing what it touches

Ash floats in the sky above
Dancing its way to the ground

Crackling, crashing and crumbling sounds
Echoing in the silent vally of my head

These are the sounds of the playground burning
Where my memories burn with them



Am I ashamed to cry these tears
As they try to extinguish the flames?

No.

I am strong, these flames can't damage me
They take my memories, burn them to my skin

The smoke envelopes me in silence
A comforting thing

The flames lick my clothes, hair and body
They embrace my delicate soul

The crumbling, crashing, crakling noises are my pillow
As I lay here to rest



Heaven is bright they say
But the light is far better

The heavens pour open for me
The flames carry me to the gates

A new sound enters my ears
Singing yet not singing

A new emotion touches me
No bliss, happiness or calm can compare

This is my new home
This is truely my afterlife

52

Drip Drip Drop
On the rooftops pounding sounds of crashing drums in my head.

Drip Drip Drop
of a broken lifestyle tumbling down around my bed.

Drip Drip Drop
of a global panic and a fight for our future ahead.

Drip Drip Drop
of a violent monsoon of happiness smacking you in the face.

Drip Drip Drop
of a thousand words being typed every minute by a snatched society.

Drip Drip Drop
as the horses reign on Earth and their metallic force drives us on.

Drip Drip Drop
of the quiet sadness only shown as it pours down your face.

Drip Drip Drop
the rain is coming, let it wash the winter away.

Drip Drip Drop
make it louder.
make it stronger.
make it faster.

Drip Drip Drop
and the world is shaken. I stand alone with a pain in my back.

Drip Drip Drop
and nothing changes.
Stop this rain.
Heal my back.

Drip.
A clap of thunder.

Drip.
A flash of lightning.

Drop.
I fall to the ground.

51

Take me I'm alive
Never was a guy with a wicked mind
But everything looks better when sun goes down

I had everything
Opportunities for eternity
And I could belong to the night

Your eyes, your eyes
I can see in your eyes
Your eyes

You make me wanna die
I'll never be good enough
You make me wanna die
And everything you love will burn up in the light
Every time I look inside your eyes
Make me wanna die

Taste me, drink my soul
Show me all the things that I shouldn't know
And there's a new moon on the rise

I had everything
Opportunities for eternity
And I could belong to the night

Your eyes, your eyes
I can see in your eyes
Your eyes everything in your eyes, your eyes

You make me wanna die
I'll never be good enough
You make me wanna die
And everything you love will burn up in the light
Every time I look inside your eyes
Make me wanna die

I'll die for you my love, my love
I'll lie for you my love, my love (make me wanna die)
I'll steal for you, my love, my love (make me wanna die)
I'll die for you my love, my love
We'll burn up in the light

Every time I look inside your eyes
I'm burning in the light

Every time I look inside your eyes
I'm burning in the light

Make me wanna die.


(Taken from 'Makes Me Wanna Die' by The Pretty Reckless.
I suggest you Youtube it NOW!!

50

Her heart has been ripped open
Left bleeding, never to be healed again
A million stars sliced through her
They tried to erase the pain

She had someone there with her
Patching up every individual cut
Using wax and tissue paper
Because nothing else fits

Hallucinations, imaginations
Still thinking he is there
The two children are singing to her
Calling sick things to her

They cry "Lets play in a field of razor blades baby
There's more fun on the other side!"
Yet a hole will collapse and she will fall
It is only a matter of time

Already breaking down
The moon shines pain on her
Nothing wants her to live peacefully
Nothing wants her

One look in the mirror and it breaks
The broken glass sparkles
It reflects everything
They sink into her skin making them permanent

She breaks
Simple songs with whispering words
Cannot hold her up
A rose petal kisses her lips

A thistle envelopes her
And the hummingbird drops two feathers
To cover her eyes
And let her rest

The mist follows lead
It engulfs her, swallows her
She has no need to be anymore
So now she is gone

The painful memories remain
Trying not to cry every few moments
Trying to stop it hurting
Nothing works does it?

Razor blade playgrounds...
Rose petal kisses...
Thistle embraces...
Mist coffins...

49

This is my dream.

I stand alone on the vast desert.
An army is coming my way.
I dream that I stand alone.
The army is coming today.

Oh God, I think they're closer.
I can smell their victory.
I can hear the marching and the drums.
Why do they want me?

I dream that the sand gets in my eyes,
and I cannot see their approach.
I stand alone, and I'm blind.
A tear smuggles into my cheek.

The noises have stopped.
They have spotted me.
I freeze in fear.
I rub my eyes frantically.
The night vanishes around me.
I am on my back.
My head is throbbing.

I am awake.

I am safe.
Until I fall asleep.

... To be continued...

48

A truth or a lie he once said to me
When I told him that I had cracked my knee
I told him the lie thinking it was more fun
Funnily enough this is how the poem was begun

I told him it was summer when I ran on the grass
My own feet tripped me up, such a pain in the ass!
My knee broke off and laughed so hard
It fell into the road and broke apart!
You see that knee never liked me
Because I used to poke it, itch it, cover it you see
So it wanted revenge and so ran away
So I couldn't walk properly, that was the price I would pay.

He laughed when I told him the lie so unrealistic
He laughed on the floor and called me a dipstick
Then his knee fell off and laughed at him
We both stared in silence, but I started to grin.
His knee ran away never to be seen again
And I laughed so hard it hurt my brain!
He was still shocked and frozen in time you see
As we found out my lie was a truth indeed!

47

Operator: 911 call whats your status?
Caller: ...
Operator: Hello? Is anybody-
Caller: Your crime is a punishment you can no longer escape.
- Call ended
- Duration: 1:43.67

Somebody is watching and waiting.
Somebody is listening to the silence.
Somebody is thinking how pitiful you are.
And somebody knows what you did.

You think because you hide down the phone
Your troubles are forgotten
But everybody knows what you did.
We know what you did.

Remember the look on the childs face
The tears streaming, the voice screeching.
You are heartless!
Your throat has been torn many a time.

But with the child gone, what are you?
Nothing and nobody.
Your soul is black and your heart deserves no better.
You will pay the price.

Justice my friend, revenge my friend
Crime will always pay.
Beginning to end, past to present
Crime will always pay.

"O' Pitiful Shadow lost in the darkness
Bringing tormet and pain to others.
Oh damned soul wallowing in your sin.
Perhaps it is time to die?"
- Quote: Enma Ai / Ai Enma / Hell Girl - Hell Girl:Butterfly Anime x

46

Colour floats around me,
I'm blinded by the light,
the wails of the Blue devour me,
but the smiling Yellow supports me.

I know they're here for a reason,
I'm trapped in this monsoon.
Danger is signalled in the Red.
The Black holds me down.

No amount of blinking can distact me,
This world is ancient, and beautiful.
The lushious Green breathes life into me,
the Brown nestles up and protects me.

Frolicking through the misleading Pink field,
through the fortress of the Purple.
Over the mountains and rocks.
The Grey will follow me down.

And I swerve and dodge the Orange,
whilst the strong Turquoise erupts itself around me.
I am safe is the realms of this force,
Until the brilliant White approaches.

45

Life is a mystery.
Everyone must stand alone.
I hear you call my name,
and it feels like home.

- Taken from 'Like a Prayer' by Madonna.

44

It took me too long to realise,
that you were not running away from me.
But running in the same direction.

Even if lightening strikes me now,
or if the sun gets in my eyes,
I will keep up. I will follow you.

If I ever feel alone,
or if my stone heart shatters,
those shards will be forever beating.

Eventually, when my torch runs out of battery,
and my sticks get frail and weak,
the eyes in my head will not change.

And when my soul is wrenched out,
and I am breathless and cold.
I'll be loyal to you, I'll patiently hover.

But for now lets Pause.
Rewind.
Turn the volume up as far as it will go.
And Play the greatest show on earth. Life.

43

She looks into the mirror
Does she like what she see's at all?
She see's so many faults
And it's killing her.

No matter where she looks
There is something about herself that she don't like
About herself
Nothing seems to fit the pieces.

So I will keep cutting up all these pieces
Hoping it will take the pain down
You can't keep track of what I am doing
I am finding the pieces to make you whole

Yes I will cut up all these pieces
And the pain will come tumbling down
As I find the one that fits you
I will help you look at yourself once more

Pain can't last forever
And neither can these faults you see
You call yourself ugly, you call yourself horrid
Yet I see an angel, and I will set her free

Forget everything you don't like
And focus on the things you do
Hell isn't alive
If you don't think it is.

Drain yourself of blood, it doesn't matter
I will keep filling you back up
You wont die without me leaving too
I will find all those pieces

Stop crying over yourself
You are truely beautiful in a new born's eyes
Leave your troubles alone, forget about them
I will tear myself apart for you

Using my eyes, using my skin
Using my head, using my heart
I will make everything right.

42

Discriptions are often difficult and the right word can be elusive.
Elusive is something that cannot be defined or caught.
Caught is when you don't get away with doing something wrong.
Wrong is the opposite of right. Somehting that breaks the rules.
Rules are always in everything, but they made to be broken.
Broken is a feeling where your heart twists up in your body.
Body is what keeps us standing, even when we want to fall.
Fall is when you give up. When you lose all hope and collapse in a heap.
Heap is a chaotic, weary collapse onto the ground. No sense of order.
Order is a way of keeping track of your tasks or achievements.
Achievements can make you feel really good about yourself.
Yourself is something that no-one can snatch from you, it shows up in no descriptions.
Descriptions are often difficult, but helps a sentence ome full circuit.

Circuit is the structure of this poem.

Every last word leads to the next.

However meaningless, everything is connected.

Some things you cannot define.
Some things are only elusive.
Some things need to be caught.
Some things do go wrong.
Some things need rules.
Some things can't help but be broken.
Some things rely too much on the body.
Some things suffer and fall.
Some things end up in a heap.
Some things are always in order.
Some things strive to achieve.
Some things are almost better than yourself.

41

She is walking with no feeling
She is a broken ghost
She is trekking on the virgin snow
Leaving no footprints behind her
She has nobody left beside her
She is alone, she is hurt deep inside
She is empty.

She is breathing with no air in her lungs
She is a damned soul
She is skipping in the grave yard
Leaving not an echo as she sings
She has a spirit trying to torment her
She is mad, she is elegant
She is dangerous.

She is touching with no fingertips
She is a walking nightmare
She is prancing through hell itself
Leaving forgotten memories behind her
She has Lucifer calling her name below her
She is lonely, she is derranged
She is mad.

She is sleeping with no dreams
She is a secret angel
She is calling out his name with no sounds
Leaving blood spilled all over her
She has him trying to steal the knife from her hands
She will die, she is dead
She is death.

40

You all dance over the horizon,
I struggle but can't keep up.
The golden, misty sky watches my efforts and sings,
"Ha!" and it cries. "You are less."

Your moons glow brighter than mine,
my dim flicker is floored by your electric display.
The cold fingers of the night brush past me and it sings,
"Ha!" and it whispers. "You are less."

You soar up towards the light.
I am motionless. Grounded. Like a flightless bird.
The giggling flies and bees flutter in their own wake and sings,
"Ha!" and they laugh. "You are less."

I collapse in the nest of my demons.
"Why am I less?" and I wail in despair.
You appear to me, as if by magic and you sing.
"My friend." and you smile. "You are much, much more."

I dance with you,
I glow with you,
I soar with you,
and I am more.

39

Boy: I miss you
Girl: I miss you too
Boy: When will we see each other again?
Girl: I wish I knew my love, I wish I knew

* * *

Boy: Ever looked up at the night sky
Girl: And thought of your special person
Boy: What they are doing
Girl: Who they are with
Boy: If they are thinking of you
Girl: If they are thinking of someone else
Boy: What they are wearing
Girl: What cologne they have on

Boy: Ever listened to the wind outside
Girl: And heard the voice of your special person
Boy: Even if they aren't with you
Girl: Even if you haven't heard their voice in days
Boy: Even when you have only just heard it
Girl: Even when you crave to feel their breath on your skin
Boy: Telling you they miss you
Girl: Telling you they love you

Boy: Ever held yourself so tight
Girl: And imagined your special person
Boy: Holding you how you hold yourself
Girl: Protecting you from harm
Boy: Keeping you warm in the cold
Girl: Caressing you and taking away the pain
Boy: Even just the touch of their fingertips on your lips
Girl: To let you know they are there

Boy & Girl: Never let them go
Boy & Girl: Never let them wonder aloner
Boy & Girl: Never let them go one day without telling them how much you care
Boy & Girl: Never let them go an hour without saying hello
Boy & Girl: Never let their thoughts worry about you too long
Boy & Girl: Never let their mouths whisper one hated word
Boy & Girl: Never let their feet touch dangerous ground
Boy & Girl: Never let their heart beat an achey beat when they think of you


Boy& Girl: Love them.

38

Ever noticed how when you are doing something important and need the toilet, you hold it in?
Ever noticed how when you trip over your own feet, you still look back for the cause?
Ever noticed how you can ignore things you don't want to hear, yet listen to things you do?
Ever noticed how you can get a bruise and wonder where it came from all day?
Ever noticed how when you hit something, you blame the object instead of yourself, instantly afterwards?
Ever noticed how sometimes when you notice something strange, you either dismiss it instantly or do that stupid double take?
Ever noticed how even when someone says your laces are untied and they mean it, you still take it as a joke?


Ever noticed how you could read this through again and again and still be wondering if this stuff really happens to you?

37

Eruption after eruption of feeling
Can I keep up?

I feel lost, alone, helpless without you.
My heart feels empty.
The angels have ripped it out of my chest
Yet delicately sown me back and gave my heart to you.
Whenever you think of me, I still feel it long for you.

I feel happy, amazing, better with you.
My head finally becomes clear.
The world becomes a brighter and safer place
And you keep it like this for me in a secret box.
Whenever we depart, you lock it for me.

I feel calm, open, relaxed in my own little world.
My soul can drift in peace.
I can do anything I want here and laugh and have fun
Not let a bad thing get me down or ruin my free time.
Whenever I feel lost, this is where I go.

I feel upset, frightened, tearful in the dark.
I don't have you near me to protect me in your arms
Sometimes I wonder if what I hear is real.
Whenever I think of you though, all of that ends.

You are the thing that keeps me safe.
My feelings become simple with you around me
We talk about our troubles, try and help one another.
Whenever we do this, I let my guard down.

With you the world freezes in time.
I can enjoy the moment, make it last forever.
I will paint a picture in the back of my mind.
Whenever the world freezes, we are happy.

You help me with my jumbled feelings.
If I am ever confused I trust you to help.
You collect those feelings and put them in a bag.
Whenever you help me, this bag is ready.

I feel happy.
I feel angry.
I feel confused.
I feel amazing.
I feel excited.
I feel tearful.
I feel nervous.
I feel carefree.
I feel furious.



You help me feel nothing.

36

The demon's a'creeping, just watch him go.
Causing hated and pain, misery and sorrow.
He don't care about anybody, just wants to be mean.
You can tell he is a demon, because you never see him clean.
His clothes are rags made of everybody's souls.
His feet are covered in rock solid gold.
His skin is greasy with oil dripping off.
His mouth isn't a treat either, his food he loves to scoff.
He aint a fat demon but he aint skinny either.
His hands could do with a decent cleaner.
A'walking he goes around the darkened town.
Listening to the cries of people falling down.
His dark trap widens, and for people it will wait.
After all death doesn't care for your fate.
The trap is marked for you, right outside your door.
So be careful where you tread and watch the shadows on the floor.
He will be a'lurking in the shadows dark and deep.
You wont a'hear him coming, with gold toes he will creep.
When he has you don't bother screaming, because nobody gonna hear.
The last thing you know is what he whispers in your ear.
He tells you the scariest thing he can tell.
He says, "my dear, I know you well."
"For years I have waited for a chance to show."
"All the things I have done to you, and where you will now go."
"The thing that will scare you most of all."
"I never left your side even as you went down the hall."
"I know your darkest secrets and I know what games to play."
"So come on baby rock the world, lets play 'who shall we slay!'"
You are carried in his trap to the hellish world below.
He still wont leave your side, your soul you will watch flow.
It will flow out your body, and start a'gliding somewhere new.
I am sorry my child for the place you must walk through.
You see this world is cruel, but the demon knows better.
You think water is wet? You fear is wetter.
It will drench you until your drowning, to the point where you.
Will have to fall into his hands, and watch what he does to you.
He will rip you and cut you and laugh all the time.
So goodbye my friend, because this aint no children's rhyme.

35

Let's close our eyes.
Let's get lost together.
Let's dive in headfirst.
Let's defeat the weather.

Let's take control.
Let's grow old.
Let's turn into marble.
Let's let it unfold.

Let's jump for joy.
Let's soar with birds.
Let's sweeten a deal.
Let's fall into words.

Let's run faster than ever!

Let's go further than the rest!

Let's never, ever stop!

Let's try and impress!


Let's explode.


Let's die.


Let's wonder.


Let's cry.


Let us live!

Let me go!

Let you believe!

Let's never feel woe!


I wont let you give in.
I won't let you give up.
I won't let you leave.
I won't let you stop.

Show me the way.
I'll help us survive!
I'll take your hand,
and I won't let you cry.
I'll watch as you fly.
I'll wave with a sign.
The end will be nigh.

But this is not Goodbye...

34

Sometimes I don't understand that crazy invention.
You know the one, that one called boredom.
That one that makes you so.. well.. bored.
Even dust motes are more interesting than boredom.

Sometimes I can't grasp that crazy invention.
You know the one, that one called boredom.
That one that makes you so.. well.. bored.
Even sitting on the couch all day is more interesting than boredom.

Sometimes I never see the use of that crazy invention.
You know the one, that one called boredom.
That one that makes you so.. well.. bored.
Even talking to thin air is more interesting than boredom.

That crazy invention, you know, the one I keep going on about.
Have you seen what it has done to me?
I mean look at what I've been saying!
I mean look how.. whats the word.. ermm..

* * * * * *

So I've been sat here trying to think of what that word is.
I have nothing else to do of course.
I know it begins with a 'b' and it is a crazy invention.
The only thing I do know about it is..

It is making me bored.

33

There once was a stranger,
and he was lost.
He made a decision,
which came at a cost.
He looked at his house,
and he left there alone,
he needed to run,
to escape from his home.

There once was a stranger,
and he was happy.
He kissed you goodbye,
and said he'd be snappy.
He'd come back to you soon,
with more money then sense!
And you'd never be sad,
lonely, angry or tense.

There once was a stranger,
and he was in trouble.
He just couldn't enter
his positive bubble.
He tried and he tried
but he couldn't get in,
there was not a trace,
of a crime or a sin.

There once was a stranger,
and he was alone.
He flew to the mountains
but never did phone,
he didn't ever contact,
let say he was OK,
he threw his life to the valley,
and proclaimed, 'COME WHAT MAY'.

There once was a stranger,
you couldn't despise,
his look was captivating,
and full of surprise.
He called to the people,
chanting below,
that he loved it so much!
He never would go!

There still is a stranger,
lost and alone,
but he's the happiest stranger
I've ever known.
He sits on his mountain
and rules it with care,
I can hear him calling!
I'm on my way there!

32

Nobody understands how it feels
To be ignored frequently.
To be left out constantly.
To be left alone.

Nobody truely knows how it feels.
To have to put up with it.
To have to accept sitting at the back.
To have to listen, not speak.

Nobody can see what these feelings are like.
Trying not to cry when thinking about it.
Trying not to scream when they ignore again.
Trying not to take it out on others.

Nobody listens when I have an idea.
When I speak out in a group conversation.
When I speak out when I am with them.
When I speak to myself.

Nobody cares about a little lost girl.
Nobody notices a little lost girl.
Nobody acknowledges a little lost girl.
Nobody looks at a little lost girl.
Nobody welcomes a little lost girl.
Nobody loves a little lost girl.
Nobody touches a little lost girl.
Nobody walks near a little lost girl.

But.

Everybody ignores that little lost girl.
Everybody leaves that little lost girl.
Everybody lies to that little lost girl.
Everybody angers that little lost girl.
Everybody damages that little lost girl.
Everybody overlooks that little lost girl.
Everybody scares that little lost girl.
Everybody kills that little lost girl.

So.

The little lost girl is fighting back.
The little lost girl is standing up.
The little lost girl is not forgiving.
The little lost girl is learning fast.
The little lost girl is growing more insane.
The little lost girl is trying new things.
The little lost girl is gaining power.
The little lost girl is back.

31

I can walk one thousand footsteps
I can breathe one thousand breaths
I can blink one thousand times but yet
I can't climb these one thousand steps

My heart can beat one hundred times
I can hear one hundred words
I can touch one hundred blades of grass
Yet I can't travel these one hundred worlds

I can sing a song ten times through
I can whisper ten mystical lines
I can count ten stars in one small group
But I can't count ten saintly signs

I can publish one little poem
I can keep one promise too
But the one thing I can't hold onto
Darling that one thing is you.

30

Just a quick note,
to say thanks very much!
To have shared some great memories,
and to have seen and touched,
all the brilliant things,
we both have done!
And all of the bad times?
There's less than one!

All the times that the sunshine,
has shared our deep smiles!
All the times my heartbreak,
you have eclipsed by miles.
Sometimes all it takes,
Is a quick, warm hug.
To cheer me right up,
and make me feel snug!

And the days when it rained,
the laugher strives on!
A small and private joke...
and my tears have all gone!
The tiniest gestures,
that put me at ease,
helps me with such honor
to say, YOU, PLEASE!

Accept this short thank you,
for the things you have done,
to brighten my life,
because sometimes it weighs a ton!
You appear with your wand,
to zap away clouds,
and to spead all your radience
to the gloominess around.

So don't ever stop,
and don't ever give in,
because I'm just as magic,
I'll be there and win!
It's sometimes hard,
to stay so upbeat,
But it's easier now I've met you,
and I've sat at your feet.

Thanks once again,
you wont fade away,
throughout my whole life,
your happiness will stay.

And whenever I'm down,
I'll just think of you.
I and hope when you're down,
you'll think of me too.

:D

29

Relaxed isn't a word when things whisper in the night.
Calm isn't how you feel when something covers your eyes.
Let me take you on a journey on what the dead are really like.
Maybe it will make you scared, or maybe make you think.

A young girl was reading her book before bed.
She lay snug in her pillows resting her head.
She put the book away and turned her light out.
She held onto her teddy, the one with the snout.

For ten minutes she lay not going to sleep.
It was just about then the dead started to creep.
A simple word "YOU!" whispered in her ear.
The faint breeze of their breath, how she began to fear.

She daren't move an inch incase it was still there.
It came from the side of the bed, but it has gone to where?
A shadow comes closer, tries to hide her eyes.
Her heart beating quick, her mind telling her there lies.

An instinct inside her made her switch on the light.
She knew for a fact she couldn't stay for the night.
To her parents room she ran with haste.
Thinking to herself "Oh I hate this place!"

So downstairs mother and child slowly go.
The child feeling worried incase the ghost will show.
Yet asleep on the couch is where she stays.
The little ghost doesn't care...




In her room it still plays.

28

A tie is a silly little thing
That the big wigs where to their jobs.
It is supposed to make them look smarter
More important around the shops

Certain colours are worn
For lots of different occassions
For instance black for a funeral
Or something spotty for education

You know which ones are presents
They are the cheesy printed ones
They have such stupid things on there
Sometimes they have printed swans

Now at a wedding I have noticed
Bright coloured ties are expected
Nobody likes a dull colour their
It will get you more respected

For young ones though they are different
They just put any old one on
They don't care if it looks wonky
Or if their mothers fix it, "done!"

A tie is a perculiar thing
They have to be done up precise
Especially if you are a big top lawyer
You don't want to step on thin ice!

So next time you grab a tie
Think of what it could show
A feeling, importance, or an occassion
Pick the right one, then on you go!

27

I stand alone in the streetlights,
with no angels to guide me away,
and I don't know which way to turn now,
so I guess it's here I'll stay.

You deserted me under the stars
now all of our dreams have been shattered,
I sometimes see you floating around,
acting like none of it mattered.

I don't know why I linger here,
staring into your house through the glass,
only a door keeps me from searching,
but I knock but the tension doesn't pass.

It seems like you take long to answer,
and my eyes open wide when I see,
"Oh yes my friend, don't look so surprised!"
You say, "It really is 'little old' me!"

I came here to have a long chat,
about how you left me and why,
Don't think you're getting off lightly,
Oh why did you have to die.

My rabid mind makes me grab some rope,
and roughly tie you to a chair,
We were going to be such companions!
Don't scream now, Don't you DARE.

My eyelids twitch and I shudder,
as I spash petrol over a hatch,
I smile and I strike with my shaking hand
as I struggle to light the match.

A nervous giggle escapes from my lungs,
as I descend ino a state of craze,
Soon enough things start to catch fire,
and then begins the full blaze.

You scream, you beg and you cry.
I chuckle, "Why, Don't I deserve this?"
The ground cackles and collapses,
as we tumble into the abyss.

You can't torment me any more,
These flames will shatter your memory,
I'm free of the demon inside my head,
wherever in hell I may be.

Old belongings burn around me,
and I refuse to struggle to escape.
I know you'll follow me out if I leave,
so I cover my screams with some tape.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The papers emerge the next morning,
a body has been found,
and it definitely was not an accident,
that the Haunted House burnt to the ground...

26

Mirror, Mirror on the wall,
who is the happiest of them all?
Who can you see through your giant glass tile,
wondering round with the largest smile?

Mirror, Mirror in my room,
can you detect impending doom?
Can you throw me a warning of things to come,
and times when I need to get up and run?

Mirror, Mirror floating upstairs,
do you understand how much it scares
me to think you're always watching and knowing?
When will you stop, when will you be going?

Mirror, Mirror staring at me,
I've tried and I've tried but I just can't see,
whatever it is that keeps you in here,
Can't we get on? Lets be friends my dear!

Mirror, Mirror coming to haunt,
the night is your fortress, you've come out to flaunt,
Flaunt in my face all the fear you create,
Get back in the wall and cease all this hate.

Mirror, Mirror, you laugh in my face,
I can't prise you out of your permanent place,
you're messing with my brain, my thoughts are a mess,
I'm begging you now, open up and confess.

Mirror, Mirror you seem to know all,
stop following me around or I will make you fall.
You'll crash and you'll smash and you'll simply explode,
I warned you my mirror, This is MY abode.

Mirror, Mirror invading my home,
get out of my house and leave me alone!

25

Why on Earth am I so wrong today?
Why am I so grim?
Why can't I be beaming like always?
I don't want to feel so dim.

Why shouldn't I be sad once in a while?
I can't always be happy.
My emotions play their tricks on me,
so I apologise if I'm snappy.

I want to give you a smile,
I really, really do.
But to be honest it's a lot of effort,
I wish I could waste it on you.

I'm sorry for being a bit gloomy,
I'm entitled to it though,
It's out of character they all say,
Yes I know, I know.

I promise I'll cheer up tomorrow,
when I hear the morning birds.
I rise out of bed
and shake my head
and find the appropriate words.

To see you, smile and makes jokes,
to laugh and love and cuddle,
I'll be the candle in the night
and around me you all can huddle.

We'll sing, We'll shout and we'll cry!
Our happiness will never die,
But i'll get home and I'll sigh.
But I know that I'll get by.

24

You. Listen to me.
I don't know if I want you to read this. It's like an invasion, or intrusion...
Will you be mad at me?
We're much more alike than you think.
I think I think much too much.
Being gloomy is not an accurate depiction of who I am.
I feel like smacking you, repeatedly.
Listen to me.
Love me the same.

What is it that defines me?
Is it my friends, my family?
Dancing in hailstones?
Watching scary films at 3am?
Overhearing things I really wish I hadn't?
Instruct me.
Love me the same.

Show me what is right,
Guide me to the right path.
Let me open up to you,
Let me look up to you.
You Child.
You Dickhead.
You Coward.
Love me just the same.

I swear I'll go now,
I swear I'll give up,
I'll stop eating.
I'll stop breathing.
I'll stop typing.
I'll run at you like a bull in a rage.
I'll sob at your feet.
I'll bang my head against the wall.
I'll smash every plate or glass in sight.
I'll smash your car.
I'll rip your books.
I'll tear your pillow.
I'll make you wish you'd never been born.

Unless you love me the same.

23

It's taking shape now, so vividly.
My fragile frame is aged and worn
and I don't need to be afraid.
I'm so tired, and so numb.
Do you exist? I'll find you when I'm sure.

Sometimes your eyes invite me in,
sometimes they brush me aside.
Your touch is an anasthetic
Your glance is a cut inside.
I know you're there. I am not alone.

I know you see through me,
thought I would get away with it,
my smile is like a cracked mirror.
I do not want to die tonight.
I saw your shadow, come back please.

You dance around me.
Demon of the Night.
I can't quite catch you,
you're vapour now.
I'm pathetic. I cannot reach.

You're not a stranger to me,
you're not a friend.
You're not an evil sort
But you're no angel.
You're floating. I hate you.

I'm sorry, don't go.
I need you more than ever,
remember me?
Can you hear me?
I'm not mad. I'm not insane.

Don't look at me like that
Forgive me.
Don't turn your back on me,
everyone does.
I need you to be real.
I need you to be real for me.
I pray, let you be real.
Don't give up on me.

22

The little boy found himself all in a muddle,
He wanted to know, but didn't want to trouble.

He went to his daddy and said, "Daddy, please!"
Tell me about the birds and the bees!
I don't want to learn about flowers or trees!"
"Go ask your mother." He said with a wheeze.
She knows best, i promise! He teased.

So he went to his mother and asked in glee,
"How are babies made mummy? How can it be?
There's no way I can think of, I just can't see!"
"Go ask big sister, she would know you see!"
She groaned and moaned and sipped her tea.

So he went to his big sister and asked with a moan,
"What did you do? Are babies grown?
Tell me big sis!" He stopped to groan.
"P**s off little bro', I'm on my phone!,
See your brother instead, he's all alone!"

So he went to his brother and asked with a sigh,
"I need to find this out, before I die.
How are we here, how did we arrive?!?!"
"Go see your friends, go on, say hi,
If you want to know about gal's and guy's."

So he went to his friends and knocked on their door,
"Tell me about it, Don't be a bore!
Please my bezzie! Tell me the score!"
"Oh god little mate, don't say any more!
Go look on google, thats got it all!

So he went to the internet and typed in his query,
his eyes were all droopy, he was feeling weary,
When the results came up, his eyes opened up wide,
he looked upside down and looked to the side.
He giggled and sniggered and said with a smile
"Oh thank you, dear google! Now, whats a paedophile?!"

21

When I put on the Jacket I am a new man,
Defined and Aimful. Worth more than I am.
Long satin sleeves writhing in gold,
Glowing cuffs and a collar so bold,
Nothing can stop me now, nothing can!
For when I put on the Jacket, I am a new man.

When I put on the Jacket you see me differently,
this piece of cloth changes who I am,
does it? can it? should it?
When I put on the Jacket I am a new man.
Larger than planets, more living than the sea,
Inside of the Jacket I am a new me.

When I put on the Jacket, I'm warmer inside,
not just from the protection the Jacket provides,
It's strong, like armour, like war wearing means,
see, nothing about the Jacket is what it seems,
I fight through the war and I BANG and I SLAM,
For inside the Jacket I am a new man.

When I'm tired and lonely I wear what I can,
but nothing stops me taking off this man.
I stretch it and shrink it as I grow older,
the colours are fading, no longer bolder
than me and my mind and my thoughts, which I ban.
I'm not too old now. I AM A NEW MAN.

I CRY AND I SCREAM
I AM A NEW MAN
I WILL NOT TAKE OFF THE JACKET NOW
I NEVER WILL, NEVER CAN.
"HELP ME, TEAR ME, PULL ME" IT WAILS
AND I LIE ON THE FLOOR, BURSTING WITH PAIN.

I breathe and I declare, as loud as a can...


NOTHING CAN STOP ME. I AM A NEW MAN.

20

A path can take you many places.
Places you could only dream of.
Yet sometimes this path can trick you.
And take you to a dead end.

The sky can hold beautiful wonders.
Wonders those with imaginations can hold.
Yet sometimes something frightful can appear.
And take away your pretty images.

The land can behold many creatures.
Creatures so small or big.
Yet sometimes these can become violent.
And take more than one life.

The hearts of man beat melodies.
Melodies so beautiful to the ear.
Yet sometimes these hearts will stop.
And take away that melody you know.

19

My clock is stuck on these digits.
I'm frozen in time.
I'm longing for the tick.
Straining to hear the tock.
I just want the seconds to fly whilst I'm stuck in these minutes.
The numbers just wont move.
Move, please move.
Blink, please blink.
Tick, please tick.
Tock, please tock.
Make this world go faster.
I want to be stuck no more.
I'm ready.

Why aren't you?

18

Skid, crash, beep.
What do these things have in common?
I presume the first thing to come to your mind
Is infact a car accident.

Skid, crash, beep.
Have you not worked it out yet?
I presume the second thing to come to your mind
Is infact a car accident.

Skid, crash, beep.
Is it really that hard to guess?
I presume the third thing to come to your mind
Is infact a car accident.

Skid, crash, beep.
Do you want to know the answer?
I presume your answer here
Is infact yes.

Skid, crash, beep.
When you slip, there is your skid, is it not?
I presume your answer here
Is infact nothing.

Skid, crash, beep.
If you skid too far, you may end up hitting someone perhaps?
I presume your answer here
Is infact nothing.

Skid, crash, beep.
If that person isn't happy...
Don't you pretty much think...
We would need beeps for those more sensitive ears?

17

Who are we to be emotional?
Who are we to play with hearts and throw away it all?
Who are we to turn each others heads?
Who are we to find ourselves in other people's beds?

Oh, I don't like the way I never listen to myself.
It feels like I'm on fire but too shy to call for help,
I don't think you know me much at all.

This love is the and end all.
This love will be your downfall.

This love is the and end all.
This love will be your downfall.

I'm feeling down about this,
Who are you to make me feel so good?
Who are you to tell yourself that you're misunderstood?
Who am I to say I'm always yours?
Who am I to be the one that everyone adores?

Oh, I can't see a reason why we just can't be apart,
Falling on each other like were always in the dark,
Oh no I don't think you know me much at all.

16

A feather can make the world a better place.
It is so innocent, so light.
Catch it, hold it and never let it go.
It can be whatever you wish it to be.
It could be your ticket out.
It could be salvation.
It could be a lullaby.
It could even be a star.
Whatever you wish it to be, it will still be that feather.
A pretty little feather, I believe.
Just remember, it is pure.

15

Do whatever it takes, he told me.
Do whatever you think is right, he told me.
Do whatever you want, he told me.
Do whatever you believe is right, he told me.

He never warned me what would happen..
If I listened to him.

When he left me, I did what it took to get him back.
His wife was a cruel woman, so I killed her.
He hated me for it, but he had nowhere else to live.
I did what it took.

When he hit his new wife, I saw it from the stairs.
I ran down, argued and even fought with him.
He hit me too, so I killed him.
I did what I thought was right.

When she was trying to punish me, I left the house.
I went out with friends and did things.
I had to run from the police, but I got sent down.
I did what I wanted.

When they put me away I cried myself to sleep.
Two years on I had a councellor for not handling it well.
When I got out, I went straight to my mother...
I did what I believed was right...

To her at least.

14

There's somone in this house I think,
is it someone that I know?
"Theres someone in this house." He said,
"but is it friend or foe?"
As the door creaks open,
the window bangs,
and his sharp fangs,
are bared to show,
to fight, to protect.

There's someone in this house we know
he's coming up to kill,
and as we sit here shaking,
we know that blood will spill.
His rapid eyes peek round the door frame,
wild and strong and vibrant.
He lunges forward,
A bitter attack,
hungry for death.

Somewhere in this house I know,
the monster lurkes within.
And when he comes back next time,
do not invite him in.

Or the terror will begin.

13

You lied
I know you lied
I know I bought it
Hook, line and stone pocket sinker.
You said we'd be together
Fighting strong forever
But you lied
I won't
I haven't got long left.

I cried
You know I cried
You bought a camera
Took a picture, hold the moment forever
I smashed our memories and it cut my hands
You lied
I wont
I haven't got long left.

I'll smile
As I feel the pain
As my liver fails
This empty bottle's ignored warnings
I'll be lying here for days.

I died
Holding onto cracked photographs
And better days
Framed birthday cards and valentines
I ripped off a butterflies wings and fluttered
Them to your sleeping face
I hope they kiss your settled lips
And tell you I'm gone.

I stopped
Death is not full of pretty clouds
I don't exist, it's not your fault
I was stupid.
I'm gone.

Peace is won.

- Product of Kate Owen

12

Someone used to say to me,
that I was something special,
and I was going to turn up one day
and change everything for the better.

Ive turned up to everywhere I've been so far,
And so far I'm nothing special.
A pretty average boy is not the something I was told I would be,
a mark on a paper is not who I am.


I was scared and lost and confused,
and cold and tired and dripping wet,
He took me in from the night
and told me I could stay as long as i needed to.

His loving door pulled open a disguise,
for he was not just a man.
He was magic and clever and wise.
He told me I'd always be special in his eyes.

He made me a drink and cooked my tea
and helped me bathe my woes.
And I slept and wept and smiled.
I had found such a brilliant might.

He told me he was old now.
Even though he was as old as me.
His eyes were weary and seemed dead,
even though the frost hid nothing.

I was there, he knew I cared.
He was my brother now,
but as his body wore away
I knew one day somehow...

I'd be everything he said,
it wouldn't just be a dream.
It would come true
And I would be you.
For I'd met myself that day.

11

As soon as day turns to night,
and the sun hides behind the clouds,
and the growl of the wild calls,
and the stench of the victory wails,
and the flicker of a burning hatred leaps,
and the moaning gravel crunches,
and the words wont co-operate,
and the phone runs out of battery,
and the post gets lost in the mail,
and the rain slashes down a window,
and the pile of work gets larger,
and the choruses get louder,
and the shortest book gets longer,
and the ink spreads faster than blood,
and the bed is as cold as stone,
and the noise is eerily silent,
and the mist is forcing its way in,
and the fights make you want to scream,
and the people just hang their heads,
and the money thats left vanishes,
and the pounding of the drums will never cease,
and the funniest thing wont make you laugh,
and the helpless roar of a car engine is all you can imagine,
and the dream
oh,
the dream.
of what is where and what will happen,
when i open my weary eyes,
and start to think of you.

10

When a bird flies around in the sky it makes me think.
Where do they go with their freedom?
Do they fly on adventures to secret places,
Or do they just look around and watch us?
Do they wonder what it is like for us,
Earth bound on our feet all day?
Do they love the feel of the wind in their feathers?
Do they experience our feelings?

If they could talk would they tell us stories,
Of where they've been and their feelings?
If they could sing what would it be about?
Would they tell us how they love and live?
If they experienced our feelings, how would it feel,
In their tiny bodies and hearts?
What makes them angry, what makes them sad,
What makes them fall in love?

9

Nothing needs a reason
to live and make a decision
but the sunshine air
and a playful stare
will be such a lovely vision.

Nothing needs a plan
to be part of this clan
but as stars are blinking
I will be thinking
should I have got up and ran?

Nothing needs a time
to grow, love or die
but it helps quite a lot
and removes sense of shock
when you end up giving a sigh.

Nothing needs a sound
to show when its around
because a raw little laugh
and a splash in the bath
is enough to take me from the ground.

Nothing needs a taste
to do anything in haste
I look in the fire
and i simply desire
that nothing I've said goes to waste.

Everything needs a touch
in our hearts just not too much
To unnerve and unsettle
and pluck off our petals
and keep us locked in a hutch.

8

A silence surrounds me and whispers my name
It is trying to make me play its sick and twisted game
I run further and further with no sign of refuge
The silence comes thicker, like a bomb with a lit fuse
I stumble, I fall, going deeper and deeper
Falling down a hill that seems to only get steeper
The silence grabs me when I reach the floor
I scream to it with all my breath, "I can't do this anymore!"
I am thrown around, to floor and to sky
I land again wishing I could die
Then my eyes flutter open and I realise the mistake
I was dreaming a nightmare, from my troubles they were baked
I fall back on my bed, thinking, "How lucky was I?"

When all goes black...


The silence comes from the sky.

7

Sometimes the loudest words are whispers,
Quietly screaming at poison pictures.
Vividly fading into the shadows,
As brilliant darkness leads to the gallows.

Sometimes the hardest hit is gentle,
Cheerful pain is turning you mental.
Ignorant knowledge of things around,
Rapid caution makes not a sound.

Sometimes the bendiest brick is broken.
Silenced in screams after you've spoken.
Kind looks of disgust swirl on his face.
As curving daggers plough up into space.

Sometimes the sun is dark and sad,
But I promise nothing will make you feel bad.
I'm standing over you.
I am the watcher.
I care.
I dare.
I'll stare,
him down, til he is a sigh.
Sit down and sit up, theres no need to cry.
Because sometimes the weather,
gets you in a tether,
and there's no way I would ever say Bye.

6

A bad deed done will come back in your face.
Just like it did to the girl, who tried to finish the chase.
Her heart was broken, in need of repair
The girl he chose over her, was riddled in dispair
They were together, and even now, try to punish this first girl
Into making her think she should leave this world
The first girl admitted, she did very bad deeds
But the boy brought them up from the wrong kind of leads
Things turned bright, and the future looked strong
But the first girl realised, she was about to be proved wrong.
The new girl came and brought it all back
Threw it at her constantly; a cruel form of attack
The first girl now sits, and wonders what to do
Should she leave alone, or try to undo
All of the wrongs she is greatly sorry for
Or just leave it completely, lock it in a drawer
The first girl is sad, with only one true thing left
The new love of her life, her heart was his in theft
They now stick together, pulling each other through
Who needs sadness, when love is true
A new war has been started, will the torture ever end
The first girl is torn, to the life she must now spend

5

Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.
Water falls slowly into the sink.
A girl is lost in a locked room.
Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.
The lights seem to move around.
There is a forgotten scream behind us.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
A hand keeps the door shut.
We all stand in fear at the thing before us.
Bang. Bang.
The heat burns our backs and wont leave us.
A haunting feeling...
Bang.
Well, we know they are there.

4

A sun is never bright enough
A flame can never burn long enough
A star can never be beautiful enough
The universe can never be big enough
A heart can never beat long enough
The heavens can never last long enough
A soul can never be pure enough...


To tell you how much I love you.

3

A door is closed.
What is behind it?
Infinite possibilities.
Where did it come from?
It comes from creativity.
Why is it there?
To help unlock your imagination.
Who can open it?
Anybody willing.
When does it go?
It leaves you when you leave your childhood..
The key stays in your mind, behind this locked door.
When you accept you can still believe in childish things,
Like fairies, and leprachauns, and make believe...
You can take the handle and open the door
And return to everything you once believed.

2

My eyes are wide open, but I can't see a thing.
My ears are straining, but the sounds are a mess.
My legs are moving, but I'm not walking anywhere.
My mind is buzzing, but no thoughts are making sense.
My heart is beating, but it is not alive.

I am not sad.
I am not in pain.
I do not feel alone.
I cannot explain this.

But I blink, listen, stop, think and wait.

And all is well.

1

I should know by now.
That no matter how long I stare at the pavement outside my house, you are not going to appear.
I just need a wave.
A smile.
Just you there.

Introduction

There are many thoughts that go through my head at many points during the day. Somethings about other people, somethings about myself. This is where I'm going to off-load them for you all to read. You may think I'm weird or silly but I've wanted to do this for a while.
Welcome to my mind.
Hope it Makes You Think.
P.S feel free to email me anything that has made YOU think during the day. mrthinker11@yahoo.co.uk
My favourite ones will be uploaded onto the blog!