60

I am on fire.
I am a disease.
I'm indestructable.
I am free.

You cannot kill me.
I am my own downfall.
Do not approach me.
Or danger will call.

I stalk the moon.
I am nature.
The wind is in my command.
The night is afraid of me.

I am majestic.
I am in charge.
Love me.
Don't be alarmed.

Come home to me.
Call my phone.
Touch my skin.
Taste my soul.

I am on fire.
I am on fire.
I am on fire.

But I am free.

59

Light.

Brightens my soul when I see it.
Takes my breath away.
Warms me up, I sit.
All of my nerves sway.

Tingle in my fingers.
Shock up and down my spine.
Still that feeling lingers.
I want that light to be mine.

Wonder from the darkness.
I lie behind these eyes.
I know that it's not harmless.
But also I can't despise.

The memory brings back fear.
I don't want it to fade.
I'm not ready to say to it, dear.
We had some lovely days.

Shine on forever, don't be shy.
No! This isn't the cue.
I wont let you say goodbye.
The light must live on in you.

58

As one door closes;
Yes, I know;
a window opens.
But I can't fit through.
The door was good enough for me.

As this chapter ends.
There's plenty more ahead.
But I'm a stuck record.
I'm scared of the ending.
This chapter is good enough for me.

As the flight takes off.
I am grounded.
I won't go with you.
You can't take me with you.
This tarmac is good enough for me.

As the night draws near.
I run across the world.
Chasing sunlight.
Where is the day?
That was good enough for me.

Then as the moon spins,
and the world moves on.
I'm through a bigger window.
The next page is amazing.
The gentle touchdown lights me up.
The night is far better.
Is this enough for me?

Where will you all be?

God, I'll miss you all.

You're quite enough for me.

57

The words I scribble ferociously.
I burn the paper with my pen.
But the tingling words emerging,
still can't explain you.

The millions of billions of thoughts.
Dancing in my head, shredding my eyes.
This waste of space.
It's all about you.

Then the deafening sounds, the screaming.
Oh, how I long to scream again.
The rattling inside my cage.
It's your name. It's all for you.

These Fifty-Seven echoes.
Booming through the screen.
Vibrating into reality.
Are all for you my friend. You.

56

His eyes, I watch them
The blue in them light up my world
The patterns in his iris.. small and intricate designs
The way he looks at me with those eyes..
Makes me fall into him

His lips, I yearn for them
The way he talks with them, their swift and purposeful movement
When he smiles.. his mouth curves so delicately
It is a smile I will always remember
It makes me smile too

His voice, I hear only his
When he talks his voice rings to my ears
It makes me sink into my own little world
Where it is me and him together
It makes me feel in total bliss

He will never know any of this.
He doesn't know how much I care.
I will never tell him of course
We will always stay just how we are
Friends.

55

Well done everyone.
The days are drawing close to where we will all depart.
But look at the memories we have created!

Remember the days where you were first making friends
Deciding what groups to converse with
Choosing who to trust and who aren't so bright
Talking about childish things we still remember today..

Or how about the times where we made each other cry?
Laughing made us do it 99.9% of the time
That 0.1% we cried by ourselves and we comforted each other
But we all wiped each others tears away

Remember the talks we all had!
So many things and they never seem to stop
Just talking and even in silence the conversation stays
But they were always fun and enjoyable

Congratulations everyone
We are all handling our time well
We will all remember each other of course
Why forget each other now?

Time is drawing to an end now
We can still create memories until then
Who needs pictures or letters or emails
We have each other.

54

She sleeps.
Her dream world is awoken in her mind.
She see's all her worries spread out before her
They wash away. Simply wash away.
Down in the darkest part of her dream world
She is torn
Dangers are cast before her yet she must be strong.
Yet in reality she sheds one small tear
This tear is for the angels in her dream world
She see's a man in her dream world.
He comes towards her offering his hand
He tells her he can save her.
In reality this man walks in her room.
He comfort her here, tries calming her for a better sleep.
In her dream world he has a sword and strikes her dangers
They are dead now.
She wakes to see the man
And only in his embrace is she comforted
She realises everything will be ok now.

53

The smoke rises in whispy lines
Patterns making no sense

The flames burn with bright colours
Kissing and demolishing what it touches

Ash floats in the sky above
Dancing its way to the ground

Crackling, crashing and crumbling sounds
Echoing in the silent vally of my head

These are the sounds of the playground burning
Where my memories burn with them



Am I ashamed to cry these tears
As they try to extinguish the flames?

No.

I am strong, these flames can't damage me
They take my memories, burn them to my skin

The smoke envelopes me in silence
A comforting thing

The flames lick my clothes, hair and body
They embrace my delicate soul

The crumbling, crashing, crakling noises are my pillow
As I lay here to rest



Heaven is bright they say
But the light is far better

The heavens pour open for me
The flames carry me to the gates

A new sound enters my ears
Singing yet not singing

A new emotion touches me
No bliss, happiness or calm can compare

This is my new home
This is truely my afterlife

52

Drip Drip Drop
On the rooftops pounding sounds of crashing drums in my head.

Drip Drip Drop
of a broken lifestyle tumbling down around my bed.

Drip Drip Drop
of a global panic and a fight for our future ahead.

Drip Drip Drop
of a violent monsoon of happiness smacking you in the face.

Drip Drip Drop
of a thousand words being typed every minute by a snatched society.

Drip Drip Drop
as the horses reign on Earth and their metallic force drives us on.

Drip Drip Drop
of the quiet sadness only shown as it pours down your face.

Drip Drip Drop
the rain is coming, let it wash the winter away.

Drip Drip Drop
make it louder.
make it stronger.
make it faster.

Drip Drip Drop
and the world is shaken. I stand alone with a pain in my back.

Drip Drip Drop
and nothing changes.
Stop this rain.
Heal my back.

Drip.
A clap of thunder.

Drip.
A flash of lightning.

Drop.
I fall to the ground.

51

Take me I'm alive
Never was a guy with a wicked mind
But everything looks better when sun goes down

I had everything
Opportunities for eternity
And I could belong to the night

Your eyes, your eyes
I can see in your eyes
Your eyes

You make me wanna die
I'll never be good enough
You make me wanna die
And everything you love will burn up in the light
Every time I look inside your eyes
Make me wanna die

Taste me, drink my soul
Show me all the things that I shouldn't know
And there's a new moon on the rise

I had everything
Opportunities for eternity
And I could belong to the night

Your eyes, your eyes
I can see in your eyes
Your eyes everything in your eyes, your eyes

You make me wanna die
I'll never be good enough
You make me wanna die
And everything you love will burn up in the light
Every time I look inside your eyes
Make me wanna die

I'll die for you my love, my love
I'll lie for you my love, my love (make me wanna die)
I'll steal for you, my love, my love (make me wanna die)
I'll die for you my love, my love
We'll burn up in the light

Every time I look inside your eyes
I'm burning in the light

Every time I look inside your eyes
I'm burning in the light

Make me wanna die.


(Taken from 'Makes Me Wanna Die' by The Pretty Reckless.
I suggest you Youtube it NOW!!

50

Her heart has been ripped open
Left bleeding, never to be healed again
A million stars sliced through her
They tried to erase the pain

She had someone there with her
Patching up every individual cut
Using wax and tissue paper
Because nothing else fits

Hallucinations, imaginations
Still thinking he is there
The two children are singing to her
Calling sick things to her

They cry "Lets play in a field of razor blades baby
There's more fun on the other side!"
Yet a hole will collapse and she will fall
It is only a matter of time

Already breaking down
The moon shines pain on her
Nothing wants her to live peacefully
Nothing wants her

One look in the mirror and it breaks
The broken glass sparkles
It reflects everything
They sink into her skin making them permanent

She breaks
Simple songs with whispering words
Cannot hold her up
A rose petal kisses her lips

A thistle envelopes her
And the hummingbird drops two feathers
To cover her eyes
And let her rest

The mist follows lead
It engulfs her, swallows her
She has no need to be anymore
So now she is gone

The painful memories remain
Trying not to cry every few moments
Trying to stop it hurting
Nothing works does it?

Razor blade playgrounds...
Rose petal kisses...
Thistle embraces...
Mist coffins...

49

This is my dream.

I stand alone on the vast desert.
An army is coming my way.
I dream that I stand alone.
The army is coming today.

Oh God, I think they're closer.
I can smell their victory.
I can hear the marching and the drums.
Why do they want me?

I dream that the sand gets in my eyes,
and I cannot see their approach.
I stand alone, and I'm blind.
A tear smuggles into my cheek.

The noises have stopped.
They have spotted me.
I freeze in fear.
I rub my eyes frantically.
The night vanishes around me.
I am on my back.
My head is throbbing.

I am awake.

I am safe.
Until I fall asleep.

... To be continued...

48

A truth or a lie he once said to me
When I told him that I had cracked my knee
I told him the lie thinking it was more fun
Funnily enough this is how the poem was begun

I told him it was summer when I ran on the grass
My own feet tripped me up, such a pain in the ass!
My knee broke off and laughed so hard
It fell into the road and broke apart!
You see that knee never liked me
Because I used to poke it, itch it, cover it you see
So it wanted revenge and so ran away
So I couldn't walk properly, that was the price I would pay.

He laughed when I told him the lie so unrealistic
He laughed on the floor and called me a dipstick
Then his knee fell off and laughed at him
We both stared in silence, but I started to grin.
His knee ran away never to be seen again
And I laughed so hard it hurt my brain!
He was still shocked and frozen in time you see
As we found out my lie was a truth indeed!