47

Operator: 911 call whats your status?
Caller: ...
Operator: Hello? Is anybody-
Caller: Your crime is a punishment you can no longer escape.
- Call ended
- Duration: 1:43.67

Somebody is watching and waiting.
Somebody is listening to the silence.
Somebody is thinking how pitiful you are.
And somebody knows what you did.

You think because you hide down the phone
Your troubles are forgotten
But everybody knows what you did.
We know what you did.

Remember the look on the childs face
The tears streaming, the voice screeching.
You are heartless!
Your throat has been torn many a time.

But with the child gone, what are you?
Nothing and nobody.
Your soul is black and your heart deserves no better.
You will pay the price.

Justice my friend, revenge my friend
Crime will always pay.
Beginning to end, past to present
Crime will always pay.

"O' Pitiful Shadow lost in the darkness
Bringing tormet and pain to others.
Oh damned soul wallowing in your sin.
Perhaps it is time to die?"
- Quote: Enma Ai / Ai Enma / Hell Girl - Hell Girl:Butterfly Anime x

46

Colour floats around me,
I'm blinded by the light,
the wails of the Blue devour me,
but the smiling Yellow supports me.

I know they're here for a reason,
I'm trapped in this monsoon.
Danger is signalled in the Red.
The Black holds me down.

No amount of blinking can distact me,
This world is ancient, and beautiful.
The lushious Green breathes life into me,
the Brown nestles up and protects me.

Frolicking through the misleading Pink field,
through the fortress of the Purple.
Over the mountains and rocks.
The Grey will follow me down.

And I swerve and dodge the Orange,
whilst the strong Turquoise erupts itself around me.
I am safe is the realms of this force,
Until the brilliant White approaches.

45

Life is a mystery.
Everyone must stand alone.
I hear you call my name,
and it feels like home.

- Taken from 'Like a Prayer' by Madonna.

44

It took me too long to realise,
that you were not running away from me.
But running in the same direction.

Even if lightening strikes me now,
or if the sun gets in my eyes,
I will keep up. I will follow you.

If I ever feel alone,
or if my stone heart shatters,
those shards will be forever beating.

Eventually, when my torch runs out of battery,
and my sticks get frail and weak,
the eyes in my head will not change.

And when my soul is wrenched out,
and I am breathless and cold.
I'll be loyal to you, I'll patiently hover.

But for now lets Pause.
Rewind.
Turn the volume up as far as it will go.
And Play the greatest show on earth. Life.

43

She looks into the mirror
Does she like what she see's at all?
She see's so many faults
And it's killing her.

No matter where she looks
There is something about herself that she don't like
About herself
Nothing seems to fit the pieces.

So I will keep cutting up all these pieces
Hoping it will take the pain down
You can't keep track of what I am doing
I am finding the pieces to make you whole

Yes I will cut up all these pieces
And the pain will come tumbling down
As I find the one that fits you
I will help you look at yourself once more

Pain can't last forever
And neither can these faults you see
You call yourself ugly, you call yourself horrid
Yet I see an angel, and I will set her free

Forget everything you don't like
And focus on the things you do
Hell isn't alive
If you don't think it is.

Drain yourself of blood, it doesn't matter
I will keep filling you back up
You wont die without me leaving too
I will find all those pieces

Stop crying over yourself
You are truely beautiful in a new born's eyes
Leave your troubles alone, forget about them
I will tear myself apart for you

Using my eyes, using my skin
Using my head, using my heart
I will make everything right.

42

Discriptions are often difficult and the right word can be elusive.
Elusive is something that cannot be defined or caught.
Caught is when you don't get away with doing something wrong.
Wrong is the opposite of right. Somehting that breaks the rules.
Rules are always in everything, but they made to be broken.
Broken is a feeling where your heart twists up in your body.
Body is what keeps us standing, even when we want to fall.
Fall is when you give up. When you lose all hope and collapse in a heap.
Heap is a chaotic, weary collapse onto the ground. No sense of order.
Order is a way of keeping track of your tasks or achievements.
Achievements can make you feel really good about yourself.
Yourself is something that no-one can snatch from you, it shows up in no descriptions.
Descriptions are often difficult, but helps a sentence ome full circuit.

Circuit is the structure of this poem.

Every last word leads to the next.

However meaningless, everything is connected.

Some things you cannot define.
Some things are only elusive.
Some things need to be caught.
Some things do go wrong.
Some things need rules.
Some things can't help but be broken.
Some things rely too much on the body.
Some things suffer and fall.
Some things end up in a heap.
Some things are always in order.
Some things strive to achieve.
Some things are almost better than yourself.

41

She is walking with no feeling
She is a broken ghost
She is trekking on the virgin snow
Leaving no footprints behind her
She has nobody left beside her
She is alone, she is hurt deep inside
She is empty.

She is breathing with no air in her lungs
She is a damned soul
She is skipping in the grave yard
Leaving not an echo as she sings
She has a spirit trying to torment her
She is mad, she is elegant
She is dangerous.

She is touching with no fingertips
She is a walking nightmare
She is prancing through hell itself
Leaving forgotten memories behind her
She has Lucifer calling her name below her
She is lonely, she is derranged
She is mad.

She is sleeping with no dreams
She is a secret angel
She is calling out his name with no sounds
Leaving blood spilled all over her
She has him trying to steal the knife from her hands
She will die, she is dead
She is death.

40

You all dance over the horizon,
I struggle but can't keep up.
The golden, misty sky watches my efforts and sings,
"Ha!" and it cries. "You are less."

Your moons glow brighter than mine,
my dim flicker is floored by your electric display.
The cold fingers of the night brush past me and it sings,
"Ha!" and it whispers. "You are less."

You soar up towards the light.
I am motionless. Grounded. Like a flightless bird.
The giggling flies and bees flutter in their own wake and sings,
"Ha!" and they laugh. "You are less."

I collapse in the nest of my demons.
"Why am I less?" and I wail in despair.
You appear to me, as if by magic and you sing.
"My friend." and you smile. "You are much, much more."

I dance with you,
I glow with you,
I soar with you,
and I am more.

39

Boy: I miss you
Girl: I miss you too
Boy: When will we see each other again?
Girl: I wish I knew my love, I wish I knew

* * *

Boy: Ever looked up at the night sky
Girl: And thought of your special person
Boy: What they are doing
Girl: Who they are with
Boy: If they are thinking of you
Girl: If they are thinking of someone else
Boy: What they are wearing
Girl: What cologne they have on

Boy: Ever listened to the wind outside
Girl: And heard the voice of your special person
Boy: Even if they aren't with you
Girl: Even if you haven't heard their voice in days
Boy: Even when you have only just heard it
Girl: Even when you crave to feel their breath on your skin
Boy: Telling you they miss you
Girl: Telling you they love you

Boy: Ever held yourself so tight
Girl: And imagined your special person
Boy: Holding you how you hold yourself
Girl: Protecting you from harm
Boy: Keeping you warm in the cold
Girl: Caressing you and taking away the pain
Boy: Even just the touch of their fingertips on your lips
Girl: To let you know they are there

Boy & Girl: Never let them go
Boy & Girl: Never let them wonder aloner
Boy & Girl: Never let them go one day without telling them how much you care
Boy & Girl: Never let them go an hour without saying hello
Boy & Girl: Never let their thoughts worry about you too long
Boy & Girl: Never let their mouths whisper one hated word
Boy & Girl: Never let their feet touch dangerous ground
Boy & Girl: Never let their heart beat an achey beat when they think of you


Boy& Girl: Love them.

38

Ever noticed how when you are doing something important and need the toilet, you hold it in?
Ever noticed how when you trip over your own feet, you still look back for the cause?
Ever noticed how you can ignore things you don't want to hear, yet listen to things you do?
Ever noticed how you can get a bruise and wonder where it came from all day?
Ever noticed how when you hit something, you blame the object instead of yourself, instantly afterwards?
Ever noticed how sometimes when you notice something strange, you either dismiss it instantly or do that stupid double take?
Ever noticed how even when someone says your laces are untied and they mean it, you still take it as a joke?


Ever noticed how you could read this through again and again and still be wondering if this stuff really happens to you?

37

Eruption after eruption of feeling
Can I keep up?

I feel lost, alone, helpless without you.
My heart feels empty.
The angels have ripped it out of my chest
Yet delicately sown me back and gave my heart to you.
Whenever you think of me, I still feel it long for you.

I feel happy, amazing, better with you.
My head finally becomes clear.
The world becomes a brighter and safer place
And you keep it like this for me in a secret box.
Whenever we depart, you lock it for me.

I feel calm, open, relaxed in my own little world.
My soul can drift in peace.
I can do anything I want here and laugh and have fun
Not let a bad thing get me down or ruin my free time.
Whenever I feel lost, this is where I go.

I feel upset, frightened, tearful in the dark.
I don't have you near me to protect me in your arms
Sometimes I wonder if what I hear is real.
Whenever I think of you though, all of that ends.

You are the thing that keeps me safe.
My feelings become simple with you around me
We talk about our troubles, try and help one another.
Whenever we do this, I let my guard down.

With you the world freezes in time.
I can enjoy the moment, make it last forever.
I will paint a picture in the back of my mind.
Whenever the world freezes, we are happy.

You help me with my jumbled feelings.
If I am ever confused I trust you to help.
You collect those feelings and put them in a bag.
Whenever you help me, this bag is ready.

I feel happy.
I feel angry.
I feel confused.
I feel amazing.
I feel excited.
I feel tearful.
I feel nervous.
I feel carefree.
I feel furious.



You help me feel nothing.

36

The demon's a'creeping, just watch him go.
Causing hated and pain, misery and sorrow.
He don't care about anybody, just wants to be mean.
You can tell he is a demon, because you never see him clean.
His clothes are rags made of everybody's souls.
His feet are covered in rock solid gold.
His skin is greasy with oil dripping off.
His mouth isn't a treat either, his food he loves to scoff.
He aint a fat demon but he aint skinny either.
His hands could do with a decent cleaner.
A'walking he goes around the darkened town.
Listening to the cries of people falling down.
His dark trap widens, and for people it will wait.
After all death doesn't care for your fate.
The trap is marked for you, right outside your door.
So be careful where you tread and watch the shadows on the floor.
He will be a'lurking in the shadows dark and deep.
You wont a'hear him coming, with gold toes he will creep.
When he has you don't bother screaming, because nobody gonna hear.
The last thing you know is what he whispers in your ear.
He tells you the scariest thing he can tell.
He says, "my dear, I know you well."
"For years I have waited for a chance to show."
"All the things I have done to you, and where you will now go."
"The thing that will scare you most of all."
"I never left your side even as you went down the hall."
"I know your darkest secrets and I know what games to play."
"So come on baby rock the world, lets play 'who shall we slay!'"
You are carried in his trap to the hellish world below.
He still wont leave your side, your soul you will watch flow.
It will flow out your body, and start a'gliding somewhere new.
I am sorry my child for the place you must walk through.
You see this world is cruel, but the demon knows better.
You think water is wet? You fear is wetter.
It will drench you until your drowning, to the point where you.
Will have to fall into his hands, and watch what he does to you.
He will rip you and cut you and laugh all the time.
So goodbye my friend, because this aint no children's rhyme.

35

Let's close our eyes.
Let's get lost together.
Let's dive in headfirst.
Let's defeat the weather.

Let's take control.
Let's grow old.
Let's turn into marble.
Let's let it unfold.

Let's jump for joy.
Let's soar with birds.
Let's sweeten a deal.
Let's fall into words.

Let's run faster than ever!

Let's go further than the rest!

Let's never, ever stop!

Let's try and impress!


Let's explode.


Let's die.


Let's wonder.


Let's cry.


Let us live!

Let me go!

Let you believe!

Let's never feel woe!


I wont let you give in.
I won't let you give up.
I won't let you leave.
I won't let you stop.

Show me the way.
I'll help us survive!
I'll take your hand,
and I won't let you cry.
I'll watch as you fly.
I'll wave with a sign.
The end will be nigh.

But this is not Goodbye...

34

Sometimes I don't understand that crazy invention.
You know the one, that one called boredom.
That one that makes you so.. well.. bored.
Even dust motes are more interesting than boredom.

Sometimes I can't grasp that crazy invention.
You know the one, that one called boredom.
That one that makes you so.. well.. bored.
Even sitting on the couch all day is more interesting than boredom.

Sometimes I never see the use of that crazy invention.
You know the one, that one called boredom.
That one that makes you so.. well.. bored.
Even talking to thin air is more interesting than boredom.

That crazy invention, you know, the one I keep going on about.
Have you seen what it has done to me?
I mean look at what I've been saying!
I mean look how.. whats the word.. ermm..

* * * * * *

So I've been sat here trying to think of what that word is.
I have nothing else to do of course.
I know it begins with a 'b' and it is a crazy invention.
The only thing I do know about it is..

It is making me bored.

33

There once was a stranger,
and he was lost.
He made a decision,
which came at a cost.
He looked at his house,
and he left there alone,
he needed to run,
to escape from his home.

There once was a stranger,
and he was happy.
He kissed you goodbye,
and said he'd be snappy.
He'd come back to you soon,
with more money then sense!
And you'd never be sad,
lonely, angry or tense.

There once was a stranger,
and he was in trouble.
He just couldn't enter
his positive bubble.
He tried and he tried
but he couldn't get in,
there was not a trace,
of a crime or a sin.

There once was a stranger,
and he was alone.
He flew to the mountains
but never did phone,
he didn't ever contact,
let say he was OK,
he threw his life to the valley,
and proclaimed, 'COME WHAT MAY'.

There once was a stranger,
you couldn't despise,
his look was captivating,
and full of surprise.
He called to the people,
chanting below,
that he loved it so much!
He never would go!

There still is a stranger,
lost and alone,
but he's the happiest stranger
I've ever known.
He sits on his mountain
and rules it with care,
I can hear him calling!
I'm on my way there!

32

Nobody understands how it feels
To be ignored frequently.
To be left out constantly.
To be left alone.

Nobody truely knows how it feels.
To have to put up with it.
To have to accept sitting at the back.
To have to listen, not speak.

Nobody can see what these feelings are like.
Trying not to cry when thinking about it.
Trying not to scream when they ignore again.
Trying not to take it out on others.

Nobody listens when I have an idea.
When I speak out in a group conversation.
When I speak out when I am with them.
When I speak to myself.

Nobody cares about a little lost girl.
Nobody notices a little lost girl.
Nobody acknowledges a little lost girl.
Nobody looks at a little lost girl.
Nobody welcomes a little lost girl.
Nobody loves a little lost girl.
Nobody touches a little lost girl.
Nobody walks near a little lost girl.

But.

Everybody ignores that little lost girl.
Everybody leaves that little lost girl.
Everybody lies to that little lost girl.
Everybody angers that little lost girl.
Everybody damages that little lost girl.
Everybody overlooks that little lost girl.
Everybody scares that little lost girl.
Everybody kills that little lost girl.

So.

The little lost girl is fighting back.
The little lost girl is standing up.
The little lost girl is not forgiving.
The little lost girl is learning fast.
The little lost girl is growing more insane.
The little lost girl is trying new things.
The little lost girl is gaining power.
The little lost girl is back.

31

I can walk one thousand footsteps
I can breathe one thousand breaths
I can blink one thousand times but yet
I can't climb these one thousand steps

My heart can beat one hundred times
I can hear one hundred words
I can touch one hundred blades of grass
Yet I can't travel these one hundred worlds

I can sing a song ten times through
I can whisper ten mystical lines
I can count ten stars in one small group
But I can't count ten saintly signs

I can publish one little poem
I can keep one promise too
But the one thing I can't hold onto
Darling that one thing is you.

30

Just a quick note,
to say thanks very much!
To have shared some great memories,
and to have seen and touched,
all the brilliant things,
we both have done!
And all of the bad times?
There's less than one!

All the times that the sunshine,
has shared our deep smiles!
All the times my heartbreak,
you have eclipsed by miles.
Sometimes all it takes,
Is a quick, warm hug.
To cheer me right up,
and make me feel snug!

And the days when it rained,
the laugher strives on!
A small and private joke...
and my tears have all gone!
The tiniest gestures,
that put me at ease,
helps me with such honor
to say, YOU, PLEASE!

Accept this short thank you,
for the things you have done,
to brighten my life,
because sometimes it weighs a ton!
You appear with your wand,
to zap away clouds,
and to spead all your radience
to the gloominess around.

So don't ever stop,
and don't ever give in,
because I'm just as magic,
I'll be there and win!
It's sometimes hard,
to stay so upbeat,
But it's easier now I've met you,
and I've sat at your feet.

Thanks once again,
you wont fade away,
throughout my whole life,
your happiness will stay.

And whenever I'm down,
I'll just think of you.
I and hope when you're down,
you'll think of me too.

:D

29

Relaxed isn't a word when things whisper in the night.
Calm isn't how you feel when something covers your eyes.
Let me take you on a journey on what the dead are really like.
Maybe it will make you scared, or maybe make you think.

A young girl was reading her book before bed.
She lay snug in her pillows resting her head.
She put the book away and turned her light out.
She held onto her teddy, the one with the snout.

For ten minutes she lay not going to sleep.
It was just about then the dead started to creep.
A simple word "YOU!" whispered in her ear.
The faint breeze of their breath, how she began to fear.

She daren't move an inch incase it was still there.
It came from the side of the bed, but it has gone to where?
A shadow comes closer, tries to hide her eyes.
Her heart beating quick, her mind telling her there lies.

An instinct inside her made her switch on the light.
She knew for a fact she couldn't stay for the night.
To her parents room she ran with haste.
Thinking to herself "Oh I hate this place!"

So downstairs mother and child slowly go.
The child feeling worried incase the ghost will show.
Yet asleep on the couch is where she stays.
The little ghost doesn't care...




In her room it still plays.

28

A tie is a silly little thing
That the big wigs where to their jobs.
It is supposed to make them look smarter
More important around the shops

Certain colours are worn
For lots of different occassions
For instance black for a funeral
Or something spotty for education

You know which ones are presents
They are the cheesy printed ones
They have such stupid things on there
Sometimes they have printed swans

Now at a wedding I have noticed
Bright coloured ties are expected
Nobody likes a dull colour their
It will get you more respected

For young ones though they are different
They just put any old one on
They don't care if it looks wonky
Or if their mothers fix it, "done!"

A tie is a perculiar thing
They have to be done up precise
Especially if you are a big top lawyer
You don't want to step on thin ice!

So next time you grab a tie
Think of what it could show
A feeling, importance, or an occassion
Pick the right one, then on you go!

27

I stand alone in the streetlights,
with no angels to guide me away,
and I don't know which way to turn now,
so I guess it's here I'll stay.

You deserted me under the stars
now all of our dreams have been shattered,
I sometimes see you floating around,
acting like none of it mattered.

I don't know why I linger here,
staring into your house through the glass,
only a door keeps me from searching,
but I knock but the tension doesn't pass.

It seems like you take long to answer,
and my eyes open wide when I see,
"Oh yes my friend, don't look so surprised!"
You say, "It really is 'little old' me!"

I came here to have a long chat,
about how you left me and why,
Don't think you're getting off lightly,
Oh why did you have to die.

My rabid mind makes me grab some rope,
and roughly tie you to a chair,
We were going to be such companions!
Don't scream now, Don't you DARE.

My eyelids twitch and I shudder,
as I spash petrol over a hatch,
I smile and I strike with my shaking hand
as I struggle to light the match.

A nervous giggle escapes from my lungs,
as I descend ino a state of craze,
Soon enough things start to catch fire,
and then begins the full blaze.

You scream, you beg and you cry.
I chuckle, "Why, Don't I deserve this?"
The ground cackles and collapses,
as we tumble into the abyss.

You can't torment me any more,
These flames will shatter your memory,
I'm free of the demon inside my head,
wherever in hell I may be.

Old belongings burn around me,
and I refuse to struggle to escape.
I know you'll follow me out if I leave,
so I cover my screams with some tape.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The papers emerge the next morning,
a body has been found,
and it definitely was not an accident,
that the Haunted House burnt to the ground...

26

Mirror, Mirror on the wall,
who is the happiest of them all?
Who can you see through your giant glass tile,
wondering round with the largest smile?

Mirror, Mirror in my room,
can you detect impending doom?
Can you throw me a warning of things to come,
and times when I need to get up and run?

Mirror, Mirror floating upstairs,
do you understand how much it scares
me to think you're always watching and knowing?
When will you stop, when will you be going?

Mirror, Mirror staring at me,
I've tried and I've tried but I just can't see,
whatever it is that keeps you in here,
Can't we get on? Lets be friends my dear!

Mirror, Mirror coming to haunt,
the night is your fortress, you've come out to flaunt,
Flaunt in my face all the fear you create,
Get back in the wall and cease all this hate.

Mirror, Mirror, you laugh in my face,
I can't prise you out of your permanent place,
you're messing with my brain, my thoughts are a mess,
I'm begging you now, open up and confess.

Mirror, Mirror you seem to know all,
stop following me around or I will make you fall.
You'll crash and you'll smash and you'll simply explode,
I warned you my mirror, This is MY abode.

Mirror, Mirror invading my home,
get out of my house and leave me alone!

25

Why on Earth am I so wrong today?
Why am I so grim?
Why can't I be beaming like always?
I don't want to feel so dim.

Why shouldn't I be sad once in a while?
I can't always be happy.
My emotions play their tricks on me,
so I apologise if I'm snappy.

I want to give you a smile,
I really, really do.
But to be honest it's a lot of effort,
I wish I could waste it on you.

I'm sorry for being a bit gloomy,
I'm entitled to it though,
It's out of character they all say,
Yes I know, I know.

I promise I'll cheer up tomorrow,
when I hear the morning birds.
I rise out of bed
and shake my head
and find the appropriate words.

To see you, smile and makes jokes,
to laugh and love and cuddle,
I'll be the candle in the night
and around me you all can huddle.

We'll sing, We'll shout and we'll cry!
Our happiness will never die,
But i'll get home and I'll sigh.
But I know that I'll get by.

24

You. Listen to me.
I don't know if I want you to read this. It's like an invasion, or intrusion...
Will you be mad at me?
We're much more alike than you think.
I think I think much too much.
Being gloomy is not an accurate depiction of who I am.
I feel like smacking you, repeatedly.
Listen to me.
Love me the same.

What is it that defines me?
Is it my friends, my family?
Dancing in hailstones?
Watching scary films at 3am?
Overhearing things I really wish I hadn't?
Instruct me.
Love me the same.

Show me what is right,
Guide me to the right path.
Let me open up to you,
Let me look up to you.
You Child.
You Dickhead.
You Coward.
Love me just the same.

I swear I'll go now,
I swear I'll give up,
I'll stop eating.
I'll stop breathing.
I'll stop typing.
I'll run at you like a bull in a rage.
I'll sob at your feet.
I'll bang my head against the wall.
I'll smash every plate or glass in sight.
I'll smash your car.
I'll rip your books.
I'll tear your pillow.
I'll make you wish you'd never been born.

Unless you love me the same.

23

It's taking shape now, so vividly.
My fragile frame is aged and worn
and I don't need to be afraid.
I'm so tired, and so numb.
Do you exist? I'll find you when I'm sure.

Sometimes your eyes invite me in,
sometimes they brush me aside.
Your touch is an anasthetic
Your glance is a cut inside.
I know you're there. I am not alone.

I know you see through me,
thought I would get away with it,
my smile is like a cracked mirror.
I do not want to die tonight.
I saw your shadow, come back please.

You dance around me.
Demon of the Night.
I can't quite catch you,
you're vapour now.
I'm pathetic. I cannot reach.

You're not a stranger to me,
you're not a friend.
You're not an evil sort
But you're no angel.
You're floating. I hate you.

I'm sorry, don't go.
I need you more than ever,
remember me?
Can you hear me?
I'm not mad. I'm not insane.

Don't look at me like that
Forgive me.
Don't turn your back on me,
everyone does.
I need you to be real.
I need you to be real for me.
I pray, let you be real.
Don't give up on me.